DEAR DIARY – LUKE CRAWFORD

Dear Diary,

I can’t fucking stand Vintage Jersey Guy. Look, I get it. I’m the most hated guy in the league or whatever. The big, bad enforcer who everyone loves to boo. But this is taking it too far.

It was bad enough when Vintage Jersey Guy showed up at every game Boston played in New York. But now that he’s living here in Boston? It’s a fucking nightmare.

And yeah, he’s a New York Rockets fan, and the Boston vs. New York rivalry has been going on forever. But who the fuck makes it their entire personality to show up to every game of a team they hate, just to sit by the penalty box and chirp a player?

Losers who have no life, clearly.

Yeah, chirping is a big part of the sport, and I appreciate a clever one as much as the next guy. But this is fucking ridiculous.

I don’t fucking get it. And no, I don’t care how cute his niece is, showing up at games with signs that say that I’m her favorite player. And like, okay, it sucks that she’s sick or whatever. I hate to see sick kids. But it doesn’t make me feel any differently about her asshole “guncle.”  

And who the fuck calls themself a “guncle” anyway? Why do I care that he’s a gay dude? I mean, other than the fact that we hooked up that one time. And okay, maybe it was a damn good blowjob. Like, maybe the best I’ve ever had.

But the guy’s still an asshole. It doesn’t fucking change anything, I know that for sure.

-Luke 

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