GAME MISCONDUCT – DEAR DIARY

Dear Diary,

Fuck Leif Rasmussen.

I mean, like, literally would be fun too, but also fuck him because he’s such an asshole on the ice. I swear to fucking God if he reads my play, steals the puck, and scores for the Rockets one more time I will sic Crawford on him. Ugh. And the worst part is he’s always so fucking smug about it all too. 

Oh, I’m Leif and I have a cool name like a Viking. I have a Hall of Fame hockey playing father and I’m growing up to be a fucking top-line center sniper just like him. I have a smoking hot supermodel mother, and I get brand deals and modeling gigs just like her.

Asshole.

And he blames me for not being drafted by Boston. DUDE.

Because it’s totally my fault for getting him drunk in Juniors, then giving him a blowjob. Okay. I wasn’t even the one who snuck the liquor in! I did give him a blowjob but that’s beside the point!

Honestly? It was hot tho.

I’d do it again if he let me. Or whatever he wanted. Because, hello, hate sex is hot too.

The handjobs we gave each other at the skills camp last summer were fucking amazing, even if he did act like a total asshole after.

But, whatever. I don’t like holding grudges. Besides, it’s not like he can resist me. I may just be a regular hockey playing dude from Massachusetts without super famous parents or anything, but I know I can blow his mind in bed.

And the North Atlantic Tournament we’re both gonna be at during bye week should be interesting … 

Anyway, who knows what the fuck will happen there. All I know is I’m psyched to play and always ready for whatever comes my way. 

Watch out, Princess. Here I come.

smooches -Tanner

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